I left Bible study this morning so full of joy. There's nothing more needed sometimes, than just some time with faithful women of Christ, laughter, prayer, encouragement and discussion!
We've talked a lot the last few weeks about serving. It is truly my belief that faithful, passionate women of God can change the world. I do believe that we need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit though, and encouraged by one another to seek the Lord's plan and purpose for our individual lives. My thought is that, if we can reach out around us and be available to the Lord's work, follow His leading and make a difference around us, the environment has to change.
As I drove home today I was planning my upcoming Saturday. I was trying to juggle the things I had to do and figure out how I was going to get my kids cared for while I go serve with the church, attend a bridal shower and then a friend's birthday. I had it figured out and it seemed to be "blessed" because there were no obstacles to my plan that I could see.
I drove along and took the exit to get to my house. It was 68 degrees outside, a little muggy and raining. I saw up ahead of me what looked like a woman holding a sign on the corner and a child sitting in the rain next to her. Now this corner is across from a bus stop, so I often see people holding signs asking for money or a ride. Every other time I've driven a past, said a prayer and hoped that they would get the help they needed. But this time was different! My heart immediately jumped inside of me and I was stirred by the Holy Spirit!
The closer I got to the stop light where they were, I realized that it was two young girls, possibly in their early 20's. The sign said "broke, traveling, need help". There was no way that I could drive by and not stop to say something. I rolled down the window and said "where are you trying to go?" The girl answered, "California". I said, "what do you need other than an umbrella and a ride?". I had no cash with me and not much in the bank, my one year old son was sleeping in the back seat and I had no umbrella. She answered and said "we're trying to get a hotel room for the night". I told there that I didn't have any money but I'd see what I could do and I might be back. They thanked me, and I drove on not knowing if or how I could help them.
I prayed and said "God, what do you want me to do?" As I waited for His answer, I grabbed $20 out of the ATM and headed for home. I knew I couldn't pay for a hotel for them and I couldn't bring them home. I had these great ideas to bring them warm clothes or make them lunch or take them to lunch. I wanted to help and I felt helpless. As I drove toward my house with a plan to make them some tacos really quick and bring them back the cash and food, I had this sense that said "don't go home". I kept driving. I mean, if that was God, He would tell me why I shouldn't go home, right? I kept driving. I felt it again. "Don't go home". I kept driving. I wasn't going to stay at home. He didn't have to worry, I WAS going to go back and follow through.
I pulled into my driveway and felt sad in a way. I ran into the house and warmed up the tacos, wrapped them in foil and put them in a bag. Then, I searched around for a pen to write a nice note. Even as I was writing, I felt that I should just get out the door and back to the girls, but I didn't listen. I was doing a nice thing, I was telling them about how Jesus loved them and God was providing for them on their journey. My plan seemed really great and I felt good about it.
I got back in the truck and headed for the service road where I saw the girls. I was feeling so good that I was doing what the Lord had said. I felt so grateful that He had shown me how to serve right in the middle of my "plan making" for a much grander serving opportunity. What an awesome lesson I would share with our Bible Study next week and maybe even blog about!!
It took about 10 minutes to get back on the northbound service road where I had seen the girls and I was now trying to decide what I would say to them as I handed them the bag. I got closer and closer and soon I could see that they were gone. "Did someone pick them up?" I wondered. "Could they be inside the bus station?" I looked all around and they were no where to be found. I drove around the parking lot of the bus station hoping they might recognize the truck and come out; but they didn't.
I finally gave up and headed for home. I felt disappointed. I felt like I had let them down; given them hope and then didn't show up. I was a little angry with myself that I hadn't done something differently. I missed such an opportunity to show love, even though I was trying to show love.
Far too many times, I have great intentions, yet don't trust the voice of God because my plan seems better. In all reality I was doing something very kind. My heart was intending to show the love of Jesus and I did what I thought would be loving, kind and well received. But God knew all of the details of the situation and He was speaking to me ever so clearly, I just had my own agenda. Because I was busy doing what I thought was best, I missed the opportunity that God had placed in front of me. What a lesson to share!
God is so faithful to show up when we need Him! It is rare that I ask for His guidance and He does not give it to me. Timely, I might add. But all too often, I'm busy with my own agenda of how something should look or turn out and I miss the whole point that He's trying to show me. It is only later that I see that He was right there helping me and steering me the whole time. But it was I who wouldn't yield. One of my good friends is such an example of faithful hearing and obeying the Lord. She writes a blog about her journey is this life called Life in God's Presence found here http://www.cindytunstall.com/
My prayer is that the Lord will help me to not just obey but to OBEY HIS WAY, NOT MINE. I thought I was getting good at this and I'm so grateful that He showed me otherwise. Unfortunately it takes an awakening to get through to me at times, but He continues to love me and teach me!
I invite your comments and your thoughts. Have you been able to shut off your own agenda from time to time and do exactly what the Lord has asked? Did it turn out better than you could have imagined?
No comments:
Post a Comment